Although the story of our son Stephen is woven throughout the book, this chapter focuses on the nerve-racking chaos that ensued when drug addiction arrived in his college years. Adopted as a healthy and happy infant, followed by a healthy and happy childhood, we were blindsided by the challenges of the teenage years which led to the chaotic and downward spiral of drug addiction.
At the time:
As Stephen’s addiction to drugs and alcohol took hold and enveloped our little family in chaos, all we could do as parents was hang on and try to help, fix or manage the unmanageable. Every effort failed. Tension and frustration permeated every day. It was the equivalent of hanging onto a rope tied to a runaway horse.
What I’ve learned since then:
I learned the only person I can control is me, and I learned how to shift my focus away from the uncontrollable – Stephen’s behavior and addiction. I had to learn how to put the Serenity Prayer – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – into practice. I also learned I could not do it alone, so I regularly attended NarAnon 12-Step recovery meetings, which helped immensely. It was a slow and painful process, but I eventually learned to let go of the rope while remaining devoted to my son.