The actual title of Chapter 5 is “Surgery and Diagnosis” but the sub-title could be “When Faith Begins to Crack.”
The message inside addresses the events in life that push faith to the breaking point.
The cracking sound of a mature tree breaking gets your attention. Once, while camping with my brother John, in the dead of night I heard a crack so loud that it sounded like a small explosion. The next morning, we saw an immense oak tree nearby, completely fallen on its side, blocking the dirt access road.
The tree of my religious faith had been nurtured and cared for my entire life.
It had deep roots, strong limbs and a solid trunk.
Or so I thought and believed.
In my case, the cracking of my faith started when fervent prayers and observance of prescribed rituals for Annie’s healing failed to render the results we prayed for.
It’s not that I wasn’t used to prayers not being answered – I had plenty of unanswered prayers up until then – but this time was different.
It was for all the marbles. This was life and death.
At the time:
When prayer after prayer and anointing after anointing went unanswered, all we could do was keep pushing forward.
There was no time or energy for anything but doing everything we could to find a source of healing.
If healing didn’t come from a Divine source, then it would have to come from a human, modern medicine source.
As simple as that.
I was willing to put my faith in anything that was going to make a positive difference.
What I’ve Learned Since Then:
It took almost a year of grief recovery work after Annie’s death before I was able to look back over the wreckage of the tree of my faith and realize that it had cracked and fallen to the ground.
That doesn’t mean God was thrown out with my faith – more on that later – but it meant I had to reset my understanding of the dynamic between prayers and outcomes.
Between what I’m begging God for and what actually happens.
It was a painful reset, but one I had to face head on, rather than ignore.
What is your experience of faith cracking?